Hey there, my name is Shane Thrapp and I am a Life and Relationship Coach with a specialization in ADHD and Ethical Non-Monogamy. I founded Creating Order From Chaos Coaching to help people dealing with life’s chaos, discover their personal truths and create order from their chaos. My experience from 15 years in Technology and Human Resources Leadership roles, training, and life experiences has driven me to help people dealing with life’s issues find their purpose and achieve their goals.
My process isn’t complicated: I work with each person to help them create the solutions that will work the best for them. By discovering passions, developing goals, and giving them access to accountability, I will empower people to live their best life their way.
Sometimes I get lucky. That included meeting my wife, Darcy. She has been a rock who has always been there for me. Through everything we’ve gone through, she has been steadfast in loving me and helping me. Being with her has made me such a better person. Not only is she an amazing wife, she is also a rockstar special-needs teacher who has not just taught, but changed her students’ lives for the better going on 20 years. Together we have twin babies, Liam and Harley (who at the time of this writing are 2.5 years old)
Darcy never gave up on me. She was there when I learned I had ADHD at 36. She stood by me through the pain and kept my spirits up. She kept encouraging me, never making me feel like a burden.
As I searched , it became more and more clear that few doctors in my area even believed that adults could have ADHD or worked with adults with ADHD. But I kept at it. I had finally reached a place where I wanted to get better, and that is key to moving forward. You have to want to get better.
Eventually, I found a doctor and therapist that dealt with adult ADHD and began my healing. They started me on medication to help me control the symptoms of ADHD, helped me work through the trauma of my childhood, and started the healing process. Through all of this, I learned a valuable lesson:
"There is no normal. Nobody is normal. “Normal” is a social construct used to force people to fit a mold of conformity. Each of us is unique, and each of us has specific needs that have to be dealt with individually."
This revelation blew my mind. I had never thought of things this way. All of my life, I just wanted to be like other people. I wanted to be normal. Everyone else around me seemed to be able to focus, to work for long periods of time, to achieve their goals. All of this seemed so foreign to me. For me, I couldn’t do long periods of time working. I always had to take breaks or I would literally just fall asleep. Achieving goals, even figuring out which goals to prioritize, was ridiculously complicated in my mind. When you have ADHD, everything shiny seems to be important, which is literally everything new.
Through all of this, I was healing by working with my psychiatrist and therapist, but I didn’t feel like I was moving forward and achieving my goals. I felt like I was stagnating. For me, I needed more. I needed someone who could help me create better habits, goals, and accountability. Not that I wanted to be normal, I’ve learned that trap now. No, for me, I just wanted to move forward. I wanted to grow. Unfortunately, while some therapists can help with this, many do not, and this was especially true in my area. It was so frustrating.
Then I discovered Life Coaching. I mean, I had heard of it, but it was always these Tony Robbins-esque people. These grandiose, super-happy people, and while extraordinary, they seemed so normal, even while talking about being unique and positive. They still seemed to urge people to conform to a societal standard of normal.
They also seemed so fucking expensive. The average Life Coach charges $80-$120 per hour. Some, though, charge thousands of dollars for an hour of their time. I, like so many other people, did not have that kind of money. It was bonkers to me.
That being said, I did eventually find a Life Coach who could help me, who had reasonable prices. Through her, I created goals, and then started achieving them. Eventually we figured out my purpose, a career, something that let me help people. And throughout this process, the cost of Life Coaching kept nagging me.
Because of the nature of my particular ADHD (Combined, both inattentive and hyperactive), this nagging feeling kept eating at me. Finally, I had an epiphany. I had been doing a lot of research, and learning a lot about ADHD, and with my background in relationship advice work in the past, this was a gap that I wanted to fill. I could help people who are going through what I went through. Those who are working through their healing, and now are trying to find their passions, their goals, their purposes in life.
Through a lot of work throughout my life, I am at a place where I honestly do not have to worry about finances. Not because I am wealthy or anything, but because my wife and I are fairly frugal and we live within our means. This gives me a certain amount of freedom in how I can help my clients.
Plainly speaking, my goal isn’t money, my goal is to fulfill my life’s purpose. I am built to help people, working with them, developing their goals, working on healthy habits, educating them on problem solving. This was amazingly liberating to discover this about myself, my purpose.
So this is my calling; working with people to develop solutions to make genuine change happen in their lives. My goals are to save people the pain that I’ve gone through. If I can do that, then I will have my fulfillment.
Now, let’s work together to celebrate your uniqueness and learn acceptance. Go on a journey with me to break free from unrealistic social expectations and make your mark on your world.